i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
