I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How does one acquire holy water?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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