i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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