You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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