Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
