i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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