He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
