So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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