I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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