I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
did i just pee glitter
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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