All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I need a beard to bite.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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