Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
should my penis look like a turkey
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
