this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
