we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
