I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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