Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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