she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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