Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's blow job season.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
