Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
