please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
