It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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