she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
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