Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
