You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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