I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
