So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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