I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize