The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
