i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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