really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
