we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
