I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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