You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
