Please, let me fuck your mom
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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