This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
