At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
