So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
