Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hoooooo maaaaan

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yes?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm retarded. Again.

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  (248): Hoooooo maaaaan (313): Yes? (248): I'm retarded. Again. http://tfl.nu/k0ba
  Replies (2) Good night (1459) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win

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  (484): i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win http://tfl.nu/5w0f
  Replies (2) Good night (3023) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked

  (708): View more from Illinois

  so?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas

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  (630): after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked (708): so? (630): then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas http://tfl.nu/17ue
  Replies (18) Good night (4536) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb

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  (856): you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb http://tfl.nu/benk
  Replies (34) Good night (4196) Bad night (1089)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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  (801): He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied". http://tfl.nu/4up3
  Replies (12) Good night (2035) Bad night (3855)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."

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  (802): We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money." http://tfl.nu/9u0b
  Replies (12) Good night (1259) Bad night (5889)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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  (630): She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce http://tfl.nu/xuim
  Replies (32) Good night (4113) Bad night (1896)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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  (816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj
  Replies (10) Good night (2840) Bad night (777)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.

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  (919): Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar. http://tfl.nu/xoz4
  Replies (3) Good night (2695) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.

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  (440): I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan. http://tfl.nu/ypf4
  Replies (9) Good night (2064) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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  (401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu
  Replies (3) Good night (1707) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd

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  (315): I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd http://tfl.nu/os0g
  Replies (8) Good night (1450) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.

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  (973): Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs. http://tfl.nu/4tj9
  Replies (9) Good night (831) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.

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  (734): she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love. http://tfl.nu/ybpy
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist

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  (229): I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist http://tfl.nu/lub5
  Replies (0) Good night (440) Bad night (157)

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