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I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
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