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• (847): View more from Illinois

  john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (585): View more from New York

  My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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• (819): View more from Quebec

  I woke up to her vacumming the grass

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• (716): View more from New York

  You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.

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• (209): View more from California

  i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.

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• (585): View more from New York

  It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.

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