I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
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I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
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I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.