you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
