maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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