soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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