none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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