i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
