i think my tv is drunk
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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