I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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