she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
