Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
