Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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