Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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