I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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