we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
