the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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