Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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