I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Sober January is a disaster.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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