Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
