break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Screwed.edu
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
there was a trapeze. enough said
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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