I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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