I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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