I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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