are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
