Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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