just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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