And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
