Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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