The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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