Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
