Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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