You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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