This is not my ceiling
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
